Why Finding an Agent or Publisher is Like Dating: A Scary Analogy

Finding an agent or publisher is a lot like dating. I am so glad I am married because I could not enter the dating scene again. The crappy part is, I am kind of doing it all over again to find an agent. The similarities are ridiculous.

1) You will meet lots before you meet the right one. It’s like going to a college party or bar and trying to pick someone up. You have to get all dressed up sometimes three or four times (editing and editing and editing) and even then you don’t always attract his attention! Grrrr.

2) You find someone, but they are definitely not what you want. You go on a date with one or two guys (agents or publishers) but just because they like you doesn’t mean they are marriage material. Start over.

3) Sometimes it is me and not you. When you just can’t get your crap together and they won’t come near you. It is time for a little self-reflection (cough cough more editing). Perhaps a little feedback from an honest and trusted friend is also called for.

4) The dream guy comes along and rejects you worse than Patrick Ewing under the hoop (do your basketball homework if you didn’t get it). You sit in your room for three days and eat chocolate without showering. Yeah it happens.

5) There are occasions where you just try way too hard and you scare the crap out of them. They run like hell. Again eat chocolate and hide for a few days.

6) Maybe someone shows interest, you give ’em the goods (partial or full ms) and you wake up the next morning alone and cold. The number they gave you doesn’t work and you never hear from them again. This time, alcohol AND chocolate are called for.

7) You wait and wait and wait and eventually you get quality you want to hold on to. You argue and fight, but always make up. Finally, you make it forever (hopefully).

After a while you must make a decision, do you want to go it alone (self-publish) or find your husband (agent) or settle (never a good idea in either scenario). I never thought I would be in the dating scene again. Here I am.



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3 responses to “Why Finding an Agent or Publisher is Like Dating: A Scary Analogy

  1. This may very well be the truest post I’ve ever seen…EVER. It’s exactly the same!

  2. Pingback: Finding a Publisher :: Shel SweeneyShel Sweeney

  3. Pingback: Literary Agent :: Shel SweeneyShel Sweeney

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